Categories
Wellness

How Are Kids Different From Us?

Some kids seem to have an innate connection with one another, others, a natural attraction.

Some of us get lost, lonely and lost. Some of us seem to have special gifts, abilities or gifts related to creativity, intelligence, luck, luck-in-love, money, money-in-love, money-for-luck, luck or fortune, luck with the opposite sex, luck with the opposite sex-in-love, luck with finding love and luck with finding our way home.

One of the best ways of coping with this confusing mix of emotions is to do my best to find the “one” and be that one.

And that’s where it gets even more confusing, as we get older.

We can be the one, the perfect guy, the woman, the mother, the sister-wife, son, father and the friend, but if we aren’t the one (and maybe it’s just that we are the one and not that special of one), we’re just a regular human being. Maybe we don’t know how to live alone, maybe we’re not the right age for the right kind of person to date (we could be the one just not the right age), maybe we hate ourselves for liking a certain kind of person, maybe we hate ourselves for being the kind of guy (or woman) who’s too good for that and can’t bear the thought of the kind of person the one who loved us would leave us for.

There are many things that may confuse us from time to time, but one of these things that always does is how to figure out how to be the one. 

But here’s the thing… sometimes we really have to try to be the one.

Just because someone else is on top of the world doesn’t mean that you’re on the bottom, even if your thoughts are going about “being the one” to the wrong person. It’s not something that we should be trying to figure out and I don’t mean to belittle this or to not have empathy for other people’s feelings, it is a very real thing. It is actually the feeling that a child has when they’re about to get their first bath. The feeling when your teacher asks you a question during a lesson and you’re trying to figure out what to answer. But the point is just to be one on your own. Just be one on your own. 

But what if people can’t stand you for no reason whatsoever and your only reason for doing so is that this or that person has a crush on you and you can’t stand the thought of them seeing you again?

If that’s the case, just pretend the person is a friend, and the situation is your friend calling you to say she has a crush on you (because the “someone else” always seems to know best). Say something like: “No, I don’t really have a crush on you. I’m just friends with my crush and I wanted to tell you that and I have to be honest and I thought you could understand that. I’m sorry. I wanted to let you know before you were upset.” You might feel embarrassed to talk to her. But this is because you are pretending and it doesn’t mean you’re really embarrassed, it’s just that you’re playing a role and it feels good to be able to play this role and do this as a child. So let yourself go. Let yourself take a deep breath and let go of trying to figure out what someone else wants from you. Be free. Be real. Don’t pretend.