How I Loved To Lie Under Water

How do you feel you are capable of loving your life, your job, your home, your dog, and more? Well, I am. I’m doing my best to hold on to this joy every day. So much work still needs to be done, but I’m here to keep up, and I’ll do my best — I promise.

We’re always bombarded with the image of love. The more you love, the less you hate, the fewer worries and more freedom. The more you love, the more you can love others, the better off you’ll have been. Unfortunately, when it comes to loving yourself, we forget how truly amazing we are. Love doesn’t always yield the kind of results we want or the love we deserve.

I’m not sure if my feelings on the topic are typical (I wouldn’t mind hearing your stories, though), but I’m a bit obsessed with self-love lately. When I look at myself, my mind is always thinking about other people’s opinions of me, how I look, what I eat, how I say things, how I dress, what I write. There’s so much to consider in the way I look, and I sometimes find myself comparing that to how people see me on a daily basis. What do I get for the work that I do? Am I actually deserving of my accomplishments or am I just being praised because I’m attractive?

This doesn’t make a lot of sense. I love myself and it’s a beautiful thing to live life and do what you love, and the things that people say about you really aren’t your business. You deserve better than being judged on appearances, so why focus so much on the negative?

As I’ve stated before, we never stop working on ourselves, and I know I’ll just end up spending more time with people who are criticizing me (in my own head, anyways) rather than working on my body or myself. It’s a double-edged sword, but the good news is we don’t have to settle for mediocrity.

“You should not live by the sword, you should live by the finger. And when your finger is as fat as a walnut, you will not be able to use it anyway.” —Crockett Gillmore

So what can you do to stop yourself from constantly worrying about how people perceive you? What if we were to say that we wouldn’t ever use social media to help us make friends if we didn’t have an actual conversation, and we’d instead use it to talk about what we want to say or who we want to be. What if we spent more time being ourselves online so that people didn’t have to worry that we weren’t having an honest conversation about us? What if we didn’t always feel like we had to be the perfect person or be “authentic” to make friends, but that we could just be us?

This article is from the archive of our partner The Wire.