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Wellness

How My Brother Became A Better Human

My brother is my greatest friend. He is the most positive person on earth, and the only reason I know how to be happy is because of him. He would have been my best friend if we weren’t so different because he is the only one who can see the beauty in me when I am down.

To share with you an example of how my brother changed my life, I will let my brother tell my story for me.

I was 12 years old and my father took me to a therapy program called N.A.T. Foundation. The program was taught by a psychologist named George, and the rest was history. For the next five years, my parents would take me weekly to see George. While I would not have known about the program until much later, at the time, I thought that his method of therapy was some sort of nonsense, a fancy word for “I can feel how you’re feeling now without you saying I can’t”. I remember how angry and overwhelmed I thought I’d become when I didn’t respond to George’s attempts to comfort me by trying to help me “unlearn what hurts me”. I can still picture that moment. This is the first time I have ever been “unloved” in the traditional sense. I loved my parents and George, but I had only ever known love and love only.

When I was 18 years old, I met another girl when I went on my first date. We didn’t have to be close friends or anything to make friends, but I did fall in love with her instantly. I will always remember how I felt at the top of my lungs that night. She is the reason I have so much courage. Her kindness and selflessness makes everything that happened to me worth it. Not to mention, the way that she treated me after I broke up with George, just made me want to get back in touch with her, somehow. We had our first date four weeks after the therapy session.

I still didn’t know what I wanted to do with my life. I had already been in more than one relationship when I met my current girlfriend. For the next 14 years I was happily married, working a job that I love and have been with the same woman for 14 years. At this point in my life, I’ve never wanted more than to be with one woman for the rest of my life. That is how I see it. My “obsession” with love was never there in the beginning.

My younger sister, Rachel, was also a student at N.A.T. who attended the same institute of therapy. Rachel was the most positive person I knew. The kindest-hearted, funniest, caring, patient soul ever. She became a best friend to me, and she will always be a strong spirit that made both of us stronger. Rachel was my confidante and her friendship was what kept me going. It was her love and love only. In spite of what her love seemed to be, I never wanted to have the same thing with anyone else. I wasn’t really in love with her by that point anymore; what I was in love with was our time together. I remember what was on my mind the most after she had left the room, all the days we spent together.

A couple of months later, a friend of Rachel’s, a woman with a child born just a few months before Rachel, visited N.A.T. and asked us what we would do if the worst happened and Rachel, being the courageous woman she is, had to have the child she was carrying. Rachel told her friend that she would have wanted to take care of both their child and herself.

To this day, the two women stay in contact so that Rachel can share her experience with others. They both agree that Rachel’s actions and advice have made all kinds of people stronger. Rachel is the kind of person who makes you realize that you can truly love someone and still be able to be yourself.

For the next fourteen years, I never really wanted anyone else.

Years went by and after my parents broke up, I had been dating my current girlfriend for 5 years with another girlfriend dating the last 10 (both long-term relationships). In 2011, I broke it off because I was unhappy at my job and just not in love with someone.