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Wellness

How To Become Emotionally Connected With My Daughter

This is a good idea for any young girl or woman — no matter what their age, gender, race, religion, ethnicity, size etc. We are all related by the same genes, so any of those similarities can serve as a springboard for deep, personal connection.

It takes time and work to become emotionally connected to somebody you love, and it will take even more time and work to find that person again. But with persistence and hard work, you can learn to make each relationship meaningful, special and life-long. And you can do it in the most ordinary of ways. We all know how hard it is to do things on our own. But as you read this, you may have someone by your side that looks and act just like you. As time goes on, you may be able to see a little face that isn’t yours. It doesn’t matter what you look like, how tall you are, or whether you’re from Kansas or the Philippines. The one thing that matters is that you are your own person and nobody else can take that away from you.

Do You Need To Get Married?

I once was asked this question by a mother out on a date and I had to laugh. She was trying to get her child into public school when the child asked, “What if I had a pet? Would I have to get married?” To her, the answer was “No. You wouldn’t get married at all.” So obviously there was a miscommunication. I laughed and said, “There will be children that will ask you that same question. Don’t answer it because if you answer it, you’ll only be making yourself even more lonely. You’ll only get more unhappy.” And I think I knew what was going on there. But sometimes I think we need to give this an entire read. I think our culture is obsessed with what it looks like to be married. The more we get obsessed with it, the more we start to think about it like a “satisfying” life. And then I’ll see this “other way” I talked about, where one person doesn’t go through this phase, where they are happy. It is that kind of “other way” that I think we need to consider and learn from, rather than be so invested in our relationships that we start to lose ourselves in them. Sometimes, people need to feel like they are a part of something bigger than themselves. They need to feel like it’s worth living. It really is. The other thing I’ll say to parents is, “Don’t tell your children what you want them to be.” No matter what the shape your relationship is, it is never meant only for one person. We all have a purpose, and if you tell your child that they have a “big role” in your relationship or marriage, they will often think you are expecting them to be the main person in your marriage. Not true — nobody really is. You should also understand that children want to do things differently from their siblings. Sometimes it can be better for a child to be the child with no one to play with. Sometimes it’s better for a child to do something alone instead of being part of big, group activities. You’ve probably heard some stories about friends of theirs getting to go to the prom — without their parents. This is one thing that can give parents real problems. When some of these friends find themselves in a situation where they have to say no to their friends, they can say something like this: “You don’t realize how much I want to go to a prom with this boy. But I don’t mind if he doesn’t take me — I’ll go alone with him.” Why do we have to worry? It’s not like we are going through a phase and that we need the approval of society to come out the other side. People who go through the “adult phase” do have to feel like they are “grown up,” and sometimes we feel that we are going through a phase just to be seen as an adult. So let’s be the real adults. Let’s take the leap. Don’t tell your children what will make them “happy” — because that is only going to make them more unhappy.