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Wellness

How To Build A Healthy Relationship Without Pretending You Have To

How to create and maintain a healthy, trusting or caring relationship with someone else? I’ve seen lots of people doing this, but I don’t see anyone making a game from it.

The secret that can put healthy relationships over the tipping point is to learn to connect and talk to another person directly, right then and there in your interactions with them. But here’s the thing, we all have this amazing ability, but only those of us who know how to practice it will reap the benefits.

It’s hard though. You need to get started. If you haven’t already, try my simple approach of talking to your partner one-on-one almost daily. You don’t even need to do that, because there are lots of other ways to approach relationships that will get you over this particular stumbling block:

How to have a healthy, supportive relationship

This is the most important piece of the puzzle. It’s the one that can bring even the most difficult relationships to a positive and healthy solution. A healthy relationship is a relationship in which the two people can talk about their problems, frustrations, loves, hates, regrets and worries, without forcing one another to keep their problems in.

This is an important thing to take care of first because not only do you need to have the communication skills in hand to communicate to each other when you encounter a problem, but also you need to establish strong boundaries, to keep problems and hurt away, for the purposes of growth and development. Strong boundaries make it possible to build a healthy, trusting relationship, without trying to control your partner through guilt trips, threats and shame. And if you ever have a strong disagreement you need to stop immediately (no ultimatums), but also immediately work on fixing your communication.

But the other step to making a successful healthy relationship is to be very clear about your intentions. In this way you can avoid getting into trouble.

Take time to think about why you have that problem. Is it just that you want to do something? Are you trying to do something? And if that’s the case then clearly talk to your partner, explain your intentions and try to find some ways of making it work.

Sometimes it may not be that you are the one who is at fault or it’s something you did. You might have already tried it before and it didn’t work, or maybe when you try it it makes things worse or worse or just more awkward. You can’t put blame on your partners but you can at the very least acknowledge what didn’t work and have some ways of fixing it.

Doing this will not only make things easier for both parties, but it will also give you space to work it out on your own, without putting them on the spot, which can create more conflict.

Take it slow with boundaries, this can really be the trick to the success of healthy relationships. For example if someone says they do not want you to hang out with anyone they have just told you the same thing when you asked about the person. So take it slow, communicate a lot, try to talk everything out. Try this for another person, and see how you’re going to solve a similar situation.

But it won’t be an easy process to learn, and it’s hard to keep it as it is. The thing is, you’re not just trying for a healthy relationship, you’re also trying to develop yourself and grow as a person. That doesn’t need to mean constantly working on your communication skills, but it needs to start with you saying “I’m just not into this relationship.” This is really powerful information.