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How To Build Your Inner Self-confidence

As humans, our inner life is something that the universe has gifted us with, but that we have to constantly cultivate. “The inner game of personal growth is so exciting, the joy of living is so amazing,” says Michael. In this article, the writer shares what makes him feel great about what he calls “The Inner Game of Self-Confidence.”

We have been created with the capacity for self-acceptance, but it takes careful practice to gain this freedom from fear, anxiety, sadness, fear of failure and doubt. We all need to be aware of this inner game and play it ourselves daily without trying to improve anyone else’s game. If we practice daily self-acceptance, there will be no need to worry about anyone else’s inner game, that is up to them. That is my motto – no one cares about my outer game, but everything that is within me is my responsibility. The person that can give you joy is also the person that can give you happiness.

The Inner Game of Self-Confidence

The Inner Game consists of three parts that are all tied together. 1. Inner Respect:   How can I respect myself and what is mine? What would others think if they saw me doing something I know I am not good at? 2. Inner Confidence:   What will it take to achieve inner confidence in myself? How will I prove I’m OK? And 3. Inner Growth:   How does my inner game benefit me?

If you feel that you have already mastered the inner game you are ready to advance to the next level. “The secret of self-discipline and inner awareness is that it’s all about self-acceptance,” says John Michael Boyer, co-author of “The Art of Living: A Guide to Living the Life You Desire, What Others Desire, When They Desire It”. “If you get yourself in the right frame of mind to accept yourself, no matter what you feel, no matter what you feel in your body or mind,” he adds.

Here are some tips to develop inner respect:

1. Accept who you are. We do it in different ways, depending on our past experiences. I think the more comfortable you are with being YOU, the easier it is for you to recognize your feelings. Do you get embarrassed with your appearance? Do you get embarrassed and feel bad when you try to dress in plain black clothes? Do others make you feel bad because they see something you are not comfortable with? Recognize this and stop trying to control others through your fears. 2. Recognize your feelings. What are your feelings? What makes you feel good, bad or angry? Ask yourself what emotion, if any, makes you feel calm but not angry. If you can figure out this truth for yourself, then your feelings are your own. I found that self-acceptance and self-acceptance of others is very beneficial. People that accept who they are are easier to interact with. 3. Notice your body. If you notice your emotions when you are alone, notice when your body feels nervous. Can you notice where your body reacts? You should be trying to make your body feel calm, yet it still reacts with its own set of emotions.

4. Practice being aware.  We need to work on being more aware of our emotions, in other words being more mindful. It’s hard to be aware of the emotions that we feel. It’s something that only people who have some experience with negative emotions can truly understand. Try listening to music, using the silence to reflect and try meditating. 5. Be your own best cheerleader. Be aware of the people around you, notice their energy and make it a priority to surround yourself with positive people. It just takes a little effort.

John Michael Boyer, co-authored ‘The Art of Living’

Here are other thoughts on Inner Game:

When you say “I can feel my inner game” but you do not change anything about yourself, then you’re not really doing something about the Inner Game. All you’re doing is changing the way a person feels about his or her own experience.