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Wellness

How To Find Life’s Purpose In The Things That Get Left Behind

When your life goal becomes a vague and uncertain goal, it’s easy to become a person with no life purpose to pursue.

When I tell a story of how it happened, I sometimes like this one better than the one I have for the best way to deal with someone who says, “All the questions we ask are self-defeating and pointless and you should not even be worrying about them at all.”

In the best story, she decided she wanted to live her life in a big way and became an expert in the field she wanted to be in. Now, she’s happy with what she does, but if you ask her directly about her life purpose, she might tell you that she wants to be the most important expert in that field and that you are useless and probably aren’t even thinking about what you’re doing. To these people, life can seem like a chore of unimportant things.

When I tell that story, I usually give them an example of what they’re not seeing – maybe there’s an article she’s reading where the author talked about a person she had an article about who became famous for doing something that they loved, only to have an article about how all the things she wrote about turned out to be false.

These are useful examples. The best way to understand how we get stuck on unimportant questions is to see someone you’ve read something about but haven’t given it much thought. We can look at their writing, and see the things they’re not thinking about.

Let’s look at your wife.

When she is about to go out and make friends, she wants to know how other people think she will do. She wonders: will I need to find someone to date or make new friends? Does she wonder how she will be able to do these things? How will she find other people who will care?

And when the question of finding other people to date comes up, she looks to you – to how you feel about that question and what you will do about it.

How did you get stuck on unimportant questions? I’ll tell you in a second. First, how did you solve your life’s purpose?

So, you need to do something you don’t love at the moment and can’t do with the rest of your life. What would make you happy while doing that? If you were doing that, how would you feel about it? How does it make you feel?

You have to learn to say no to things your mind says, “No!” to. Once you get to that point, you’ll stop being like a lot of people who say, “I’ll just stay home when I’m not good at something.” Instead you’ll want to make your life work. That will lead you to making a plan that makes good sense.

The key is to do these things, but the key is to do them when you feel okay with it. You’ll know when no one is watching because you’ll start to make the right decisions on your own – not because you are forced to make them or told that you have to.

If you look back over your life and can’t come back at all, at least know a little more about the important ones. And then, look back to your wife. I wonder how good you feel about going where you’re comfortable with taking the people you love out or making the friendships you were hoping to make. I wonder how you feel about living the life you’re going to live. It won’t be because of some invisible force that wants you to do it, it will be because you take action and go for it.