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Wellness

How To Have Better Sex, More Sex, All The Time

The body knows this, and so does her brain, so we can literally “feel our way” through the sex drive. Sex is an incredible tool that not only has a positive effect on our own lives but it can also help us to change others around us.

The modern world often makes couples feel like they can’t have any sex, with most people having trouble achieving orgasm. I have heard of couples going years without sex without even realizing it. By understanding the brain’s need for a release to go along with orgasm, couples can avoid those frustrations. By having orgasms, couples release oxytocin, which helps the brain release the hormone, dopamine. Oxytocin helps the brain to make pleasure pleasurable and increases the body’s endorphins, making the act feel good for the person, the couple and both. To get the most from sex you should have fun the whole time. When all three people are engaging in a physical act, then the brain releases more dopamine and oxytocin, making the orgasm all the more enjoyable. If for some reason these two chemicals are not getting out of the body, then either the person is not getting the desired release or it isn’t happening. I also like to tell people to imagine their body doing exactly what the person wants them to do.

There is a difference between just feeling a certain way to masturbate, and actually getting off. Once the brain gets a certain signal, if you want to feel that very, very strong surge of sexual energy, think about exactly how you would like to feel. I think of it as, “I want my orgasm to be so intense that when the pleasure is over, my body is completely satisfied.” (I’ll post my thoughts on this in a separate post)

If you are having sex for the first time, I would tell them to let the first person get completely lost in the act and then gradually get more and more involved in the partner’s pleasure. Then get to know the rhythm of your partner’s movements and tell them how your body wants them to feel. For example, if you want to be completely relaxed and receptive, tell your partner that you want to be completely deep with them. Once they get to that point in the act I would tell them to go back into the body and have the body be fully present for the next few minutes. Then tell them to take turns and try and experience their orgasm at the same time. If you take a slow approach then don’t let the other person rush the experience.

So you want to have great sex with your partner but what about your partner’s needs? How do they feel about sex when you are having sex? I know it sounds like a great idea to not have sex with your partner at one time when they are having sex. I am not entirely sure whether this is safe or not if they also have a partner. If you were to take this advice to heart then you may find yourself not getting off or being in the middle of a very intense orgasm so bad it can’t be remembered. This can really mess with a person’s head. It would be great if we were on the same page with what we are doing. If you are having sex with a partner, you should know that their needs would be just as important as yours.

Sometimes I do not understand what my partner is thinking. When I’m having sex with a partner it should feel like an equal experience, but in this situation I think I may be making more out of the experience than they are with me. In my opinion, it’s just a matter of trying harder to get them to relax. Try and work on some simple tips such as slowly getting your head lower into their vagina/bottom.

A lot of people have trouble getting off or experiencing orgasm, or they don’t orgasm at all. I am sure you are familiar with the “orgasm denial techniques” of using porn or masturbators to try to have sex. The truth is, sex is a beautiful thing and it doesn’t need to be painful or difficult. I want to touch upon another kind of solution, sex-positive orgasmic techniques. Let’s face it, sex doesn’t always have to be about pain, and a lot of couples have had sexual difficulties because they are not using orgasms and they aren’t getting pleasure out of it even though they think it will make a big difference for them or their relationship.

There is something called the sexual energy grid.