How To Lose Weight (in My Child-free Life!)

Let it go; lose the shame. There are people and places around you that will hold a grudge. Stop being a victim. Be vulnerable. Lose the shame.

Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. What the HELL. If you’re so good, why do you have to wear a body? No more body image and self-blame. Let it go; stop telling your stories. Just do. I have one: “He was my son. I was born with a belly button. Let it go. I have seen more than 30 belly buttons in my lifetime. I have seen many babies die, many broken hearts break, many children grow up without fathers because there is none. I have seen it. And my kid isn’t any different. Let it go. I haven’t had him much longer than I’ve had you. You aren’t your own mother. Your mother is you. Your mother is just someone to feed and clean and clothe.” Just do.

We all need to be human instead of a robot. We all need to feel human. We all need to take some joy in our lives. We all need to be ourselves. Not like a person. Not like our mother. Not like a “woman”. Just as long as we don’t hurt people. Just do.

I have never known what it’s like to feel human. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go.

I’m sorry that you don’t have a child. I don’t want to see you suffer because you’re a woman with one in the future. I don’t want to watch you lose your self. Because when a “woman” feels she’s a woman, she becomes an “it”. She makes mistakes. She says she’s a “girl” and she becomes a “thing” that’s used and discarded. Let it go. Let it go! Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go.

I am not trying to scare you. I am just trying to make you feel better. Let it go. Get over it. It’s OK. You can do it. You are doing it. You will not fail. You are not a failure. I know you. You are strong. You have the power. Let it go. Let it go.

I don’t want you to suffer alone. I know that you will get over it. I know you will get over the guilt. I want you to know that you’re not a failure just because you don’t have a child. You are a person who is going through an unexpected change in life – change that you chose for yourself. You chose to be child-free and a part of a growing (and changing) world. That decision is a blessing. It means you are not the “thing”. Not just “the thing” that men find attractive. You are a unique person with your own strengths and gifts and passions. You are a beautiful baby in the womb of your mother, who chose to breast feed you. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go.

There are so many ways we can be our best selves, in your child-free life. 

We can be our best selves at work while being parents. We can make friends with other child-free people and grow together. 

We can be our best selves for every part of our life, even when there is a child, even when there isn’t a sibling, despite societal expectations.

We can be our best selves for ourselves and other family members. No matter who else thinks we don’t measure up or get the love we deserve. 

We can be our best selves in our marriages and for our partners. I promise you that our partners will think of us differently once their kids are older. I promise you that when they don’t want to let the kids go to soccer practice with the neighbors, for example, they are not thinking of you. But when children are around, they will.