How To Love Yourself When You’re Angry: A Secret From A Mom Who’s Still Living With Her Husband

You have to be really careful what you put in your body, and who you let it in your body.

When I’m angry, I’m a different person from when I’m happy. For example, my anger is a more intense emotion, my anger comes with a strong physical response, it often takes more effort to ignore or channel my anger, and I’m more prone to lash out at things that irritate me or provoke my anger. I also find that when I’m angry, I tend to think more about my anger, which leads me to see things in a more negative way, instead of just focusing on the problem at hand.

Into: My anger can come and go – depending on the situation. It’s not always easy to control exactly how it’s expressed or when it’s expressed. Sometimes, the anger can be there to express my frustration; sometimes it has to do more with just frustration or a desire to get my way. Other times, it has to do more to create myself as a better version of myself, to be more of who I am inside.

Out of: When I’m angry I don’t want to express why I’m angry. I don’t want to see a reason that I might not be able to accept, or to understand that if people aren’t angry with me I’m probably going to be upset.

When it comes to emotions, I like to think that some days I’m more emotional than others. But when my emotions are at their worst, that’s when I try to find something or someone responsible. I don’t like looking at myself and thinking, “Why is I angry all of the time?” I tend to just find myself, and to try not to let myself get upset. I usually try this with my friends, but if it won’t work I’ll also reach out to family through various channels, and if I just don’t want to talk to anyone, I’ll just sit and be quiet.

Sometimes it’s hard to get them to understand if they don’t already understand how I feel. Sometimes I feel like people just don’t understand “how it’s like to deal with” my anger, and that they don’t understand it’s part of me. I think they don’t fully understand that I’m very much aware of how my emotions are expressed, and that this is part of my everyday experience. Sometimes, people try to tell my why or what to do, or maybe some just don’t want me to vent. And then I know it’s not as easy going around.

The only time it feels good to get it out… is when I have someone nearby who can listen and understand exactly what I’m feeling, and how the situation is impacting me. But at that point I usually end up going it alone or taking things just off my chest. When it comes to being angry I don’t want to be controlled by my anger, I want to be as independent as I can. I want to be able to be more open, and not have my boundaries dictated by others, people or emotions outside of me.

It’s also frustrating and confusing as we tend to want to put our emotions out there but then it doesn’t seem very real until we let them out. It’s not always easy to “make space” for anger. I know that I have to hold things in, at least on a conscious level, and I realize that it’s not going to be easy. Sometimes I have to hold in my anger without venting to let myself feel in-between emotions. This is especially difficult when I find myself feeling more emotionally reactive. I guess some people would say that being reactive is a normal part of anger, but I find that being re-active, instead of active is what I’m trying to change.