How To Reclaim Your Loved One

What is your message to your loved one when your family is sick? A message of love will be more powerful when experienced as real and living than it is when heard from a distant voice.

What’s your message to your loved one when your family is sick? A message of love will be more powerful when experienced as real and living than it is when heard from a distant voice. You say “I love you” and she says, “How’s the doctor and the doctor’s visit, how’s your little guy” or you say “I love you” and she says, “I’m scared of the houseplants.” She’s not listening and you don’t notice this at first. I don’t mean this to sound selfish, but because they are not present in your actual life, you feel unfulfilled. This sense of unfulfillment can be more difficult to feel than the actual illness itself as it builds in the background. This is when you feel that need to create a connection — a real connection — with your loved one. You don’t notice this at first, but it creates a real, living connection. It’s that feeling of “the missing piece” that keeps you alive. It’s that feeling that keeps you going, that makes you want to reach out and be there for a loved one. As the words sink in, they’re more powerful and real. It’s that feeling that reminds you that love is real, that it’s real, that it doesn’t have to be in a script and that it’s real, alive and real in your heart.

When you feel this empty feeling of unfulfillment like you do when your family is sick, it’s really easy to fall into that pattern. That’s when you get the urge to rekindle the lost connection that you had to your loved one. When you do this all the time with no success, it can be tempting to throw your family into a negative light as a way to feel like you’re making progress. This is very powerful as it forces you to reach out and reconnect, but again, in your head you know there’s nothing to recover here. The real problem with this pattern and process of rekindling your lost connection that you have to live. It’s a false sense of progress as the process keeps repeating itself. What’s worse is that it feels like this is the only way to repair a broken link with your loved one. In your mind, you feel the need to keep reconnecting until you see some evidence of progress. In your mind, you think that if no progress is seen, then the connection must be hopeless. The problem is that you’re not connecting at this speed! You’re not reconnecting! Nothing is going on. You keep talking, texting, and e-mailing because you think that somehow these communication tools are going to help.  But you’re not. In fact, this is just a waste of everyone’s time and resources and the family is not involved in any of this. This is why it’s important for your family to feel the need to reconnect when it does get to be a real and living process. They need to know that they are a part of your process, that they are engaged in the healing process, that they are there with you so that you feel connected and that you feel supported in your experience. That is one of the hardest things that family can do as it can be so hard for loved ones to feel this real feeling of support and real connection with each other. Sometimes it’s all you really have. That’s one of the biggest things that family can do if they want to know how to heal a lost physical family link. Sometimes it’s all you really have.  

When your family is sick, they are going through so much. But the people that love them are there all the time and they will be there for life. They love them more than they can ever imagine and they are with them as they suffer and recover. They don’t give up and that’s why it’s so important to keep reaching out and make the connection. You can’t do it by going by yourself. It’s the family that has to make this happen.