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Wellness

How To Stay Happy In This Modern World

What happens when you become depressed? Some of us spend the majority of our life on a high, yet are unable to let go. But in the midst of this perpetual high, the brain releases chemicals that promote happiness and reduce our perception of distress. If we could simply do this with more frequency, we would find that we were happier and less prone to depression. It’s called the “end of depression” process. If you haven’t tried this yet, you shouldn’t wait because it is a powerful technique to create abundant joy in your life.

In my work as an executive coach I see thousands of clients in their 40s (and up), 40s who were once quite successful, and 40s who are unhappy. The most common reason they are unhappy is that they haven’t found their “happy medium” yet. They’ve been in that low-high zone for so long that they aren’t even close. But I can see it in the way they speak about their problems or feel about their situation. What do these poor souls have in common? They have not yet learned how to identify joy and happiness as part of their lives. They spend their time trying to get somewhere without ever really reaching for it. You might be surprised at what you learn because this is the secret to having great happy relationships.

What Happens When You Find Joy In The Fulfillment Of Your Goals

How many of you have ever heard someone say something to the effect: “It’s been a while since I met the one. Maybe I’ll ask my sister, Mom and Dad if they have time tonight?” This is a great way to get started on solving a relationship problem, but once you have those feelings of happiness and joy, don’t wait to see if they come around again. Instead, ask them how you can make it better as far as the relationship is concerned. If you think this is impossible then you probably need to start doing some serious introspection.

How do you go about it?

Before you can really begin to develop a relationship again, you need to set up a simple and safe place to start talking about it with your partner. What is the relationship problem? Ask them directly: What’s bothering you? Is it money or sex? Is it someone else you love? Is it something else? If you’re unable to have these conversations with your partners, make sure you go out and find new ones.

How can you set this up and make sure that all parties are satisfied? One easy way is to get to know the other person and see their world from the other person’s perspective. That way you gain understanding from both sides, which can greatly ease your relationship and create a solid foundation for conversation.

What about sex?

Now you can get back to the subject of the big elephant in the room and the reason why most of us avoid talking about our relationship problems. For some people, having sex is difficult for a number of reasons. Their partner may have other expectations than what they have in mind. Or, they may not be in the mood. They may not want to see you as much anymore as a result. Or, they may not be in an emotionally healthy place.

You can be part of all of these situations and still maintain a happy relationship. But if you are not in the mood that you were in before you had sex, take a deep breath and see what you can do instead. Are you feeling angry or sad? How can you release the anger without ending up in tears? How can you be more peaceful with the sadness or frustration? How can you give your partner space, allow yourself to feel less alone and feel better about yourself?

It sounds simple, but so many people never make the time to stop and reflect on these issues or to ask someone to talk to them about them before sex so they don’t end up feeling isolated. If you have a few hours, take the time to do this. If not, then I hope you’re able to see where I’m going with this. So, what should you do?

Take a look within yourself . What is “me” and is the joy within me to be found in these things? What is the true meaning of “happiness”? Is it always about the money and the sex? Will you only find happiness in these things? It’s not and it never will be. It’s only because we are so used to feeling things that we think it must be true.