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Wellness

What About Your Future Self? Can You Change What You’ll Be?

My sister, in her post-menopausal years, has the worst memory of all, but she and her husband keep up a good marriage. The problem is she cannot look ahead and change everything that she will be. She cannot imagine something else. My heart breaks for her. It is my mission to show her the beauty and joy and possibility that exist for her. I want her to remember that the future exists beyond what she has now. It might have an easier start if she saw herself as a child of a certain age. There is nothing she won’t accomplish. She should realize that being child is a good thing.

She should start thinking of her life in a younger and more exciting way. There are only limits to what we can imagine and achieve with what we have. My sister does not need to be someone her own age to be able to enjoy the gifts of growth and maturity and to be able to be happy in her own skin. She can be the child she always dreamed of being. There are millions of families out there, young and old, who could grow into the kind of young adults she might have grown to be today. She should realize that there are hundreds of places you won’t go if you don’t start today. There are only limits to what you and your future self could create together. She should know that what she cannot do now, she never will. She can live her life with a child’s energy and spirit and excitement.

This is one of my most personal posts I’ve written for this blog. I have spent a huge amount of my own time reflecting on the most important question you can ask yourself: What is my purpose? When you take on a new job, there is really only one question you need to ask yourself before you ever begin a project: What’s in it for me? Where is it going? What am I putting my time and resources to? If the project itself is important, then it is time to commit to it. Otherwise, you need to set time aside for yourself to find out if the project is important or not. My father was never around for much of my childhood and he taught me early on how to ask the most important questions. If you want to be a good parent, you need to ask the right questions at the right times.

If you think I am off on my own adventures to find a new purpose, I will admit that I have been doing this work long enough that I may have my own answers to questions I don’t have. I can promise you, your soul will know. What is your purpose? It’s not a question you should have in your head all the time, and perhaps it’s better if your whole life was a mystery to you. As a parent, your purpose is not something that just happens to you. If you do something great, then do something good in the meantime. When doing something great, you can always look back and thank your parents for the lessons you received from them. If you have no parents, a good teacher can teach you a great deal about who you are and what you should be doing.

Remember, our purpose is to live life to the fullest. Your purpose can be defined by the things you do today. For one day, if you wake up and do something meaningful and important that is meaningful for you, then you are already on the right track. But you may find that your purpose grows with time and with your own unique journey. What is yours? Share them with the world!

[1] I’ve chosen the word “children” because I see children as being a special, privileged generation. Most of us do it for reasons we do not fully understand. I have come to understand that this is the case for people my age and that my life could be quite different for a few things.

Also, as a child of divorce, I am deeply aware that the pain of my life changes will not be for another two to three decades.