What Are ‘the Rules’ For Your Relationship?

Some people are afraid to have an open discussion with loved ones about these matters, or worry about the way others perceive them and respond when they do. While there are certainly plenty of rules, and some that are hard to break, when we do make a change, things begin to change for us. I have learned more from trying these things myself rather than following rules from others. I have made a list of things to start (and stay) in your relationship with your partner or loved one, and try to stick to them every single day.

What are the ‘rules’ for a healthy relationship? The rules that keep you together may be the same thing that keeps people apart. If someone is keeping you apart while you’re trying to become a healthy, happier, more loving person, that doesn’t mean they’re ‘bad.’ It means they aren’t right for you.

Here are your ‘best friends,’

The rules I like to keep are:

(If you’re starting your relationship, I’ll include a few that you should include as well)

1. Do you want to be the ‘good wife / girlfriend’? – Don’t try to be the ‘perfect wife / girlfriend.’ You are not (always) going to be a perfect wife / girlfriend. You are human, and sometimes we are simply not the best at loving our partners.  You can be the best friend and still fall short sometimes, but that does not justify the way you fall short. The best friend you can be is the one who is willing to let go of their rules, and give themselves to the person you are trying to get closer to. 

2. Do you want to be honest with one another as people? – Be authentic. The most important thing about us is that we’re kind people. We shouldn’t pretend we can do something we are not suited or capable of doing. Don’t hide anything from one another. We need to open up about what is most important to us, not what is most important to someone else. 

3. Do you want to be an equal partner? – If you aren’t an equal partner, you’ll never be able to be a healthy, happy, and loving partner. Everyone needs to be treated with respect and given the same opportunity to be a part of our lives as we are to be a part of theirs. Do not fall into  the ‘friend/parent relationship’ mindset . There’s nothing wrong with friendship or being a part of a parent / family relationship, but the ‘best friends’ mentality is one that doesn’t allow people the space to be completely open to one another, and it leads to people feeling as if they have to defend themselves against a person who may be hurtful or abusive when they don’t feel like they are receiving all the necessary attention and support.  

4. Do you want each other, no matter how it’s presented? – Do not see your relationship like a marriage, or a casual and casual relationship. Your “relationship” to your partner is not to be viewed “as a husband.” We want the best, not the ‘most compatible’ partner. If your relationship feels like a marriage, you’re not on the right track. Do your best not to see your relationship like a marriage. Do it in a way that is true to you and to your relationship . Do you and your partner not have a passion around the same thing? Does your partner feel guilty when you don’t? Your relationship isn’t meant to feel like this… it’s not ‘for me.’ Do not fall into a “best friend” mentality. You may find all of the “best” friends can get along with one another, but it’s not necessarily the best choice; it just feels best and helps you be able to handle the pain of separation as you transition to your new relationship. 

5. Does your partner want to have sex? –  It’s a given in your relationship that your partner will want to have sex with you.