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Wellness

What Is A Great First Date?

A great first date is a great first step into the whole. When you’ve come out of that initial awkwardness, you’ve learned that you are comfortable enough with yourself to talk about your feelings and desires. You’ve made an initial connection as to how you feel with someone else. Through some form of self-acceptance, you now want to make that connection as a deeper, more permanent relationship. The first date isn’t the end in itself, but rather, helps establish a foundation upon which more intimate feelings and connections can build.

In some ways, how great a first date is is like how great a first kiss is with someone. It’s a great initial kiss into a great relationship. That initial breathlessness and rush of pleasure is like the initial rush of sexual arousal, which quickly grows into attraction and eventually, sex! A great first kiss sets you up for the rest of your journey: the first meal, the first kiss, the first dance, the first date … the first time you have sex.

Now that we know a little about what a great first date is, let’s talk about what a great first kiss is like.

A good first kiss starts with confidence and passion. It is easy to believe you are ready to kiss back after a first kiss. You’re not worried about how much to kiss. You’re not looking for the perfect kiss, you’re confident that you get the one that just works. Your lips and tongue are all that matters. You’re not looking for a special feeling of satisfaction, you’re looking for the experience of the kiss. The whole experience of the kiss is what matters when it comes to kissing. You don’t want to feel like you’re doing it wrong (and there’s one thing you definitely should feel like you’re doing wrong!)

There is so much pressure on people when first kissing, especially men. The pressure can be incredibly high to do it right, and so many guys are intimidated by the idea of what kissing is really like. There’s pressure to create and communicate your feelings, and to make a relationship work. Most guys just want to get it out of the way as quickly after the first kiss as they can so they can move on to more meaningful situations. This is completely understandable; after all, that first kiss is the most important kiss that each of us will have with another person.

That first kiss should not feel forced. You don’t want it to have to end in order for you to be able to move on. Kisses need time. Sometimes I feel that the first kiss ends and we walk back to the bar together, and even at that point, we have to move on with our lives and things, but there is still that first kiss and that first moment where a connection is created and a life is created, and it is a true moment of excitement. Let the kiss end quickly! There’s so much pressure on this first kiss that it’s easier to let it be one of the last in a relationship, and give the relationship time to build.

You want the first kiss to start a new conversation and a new relationship. You want to create something more meaningful that will keep both of you interested and passionate. That first kiss can be a very brief first conversation, a very intense one, it doesn’t necessarily have to lead in any particular direction.

Don’t be afraid to experiment with your first kiss. Try kissing in new ways, do anything you can to make it more fun and more interesting. Take your time, let your body, tongue, and mouth be the vessel for your words. The first time you kiss is special, and it doesn’t have to be all about sex. It’s a chance to connect, to share a little, to explore and to learn.