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Wellness

What Is It About Living An Authentic Life?

It’s not about achieving some “perfect” state, or having an “ideal” relationship–it’s about being honest with yourself, and living. There is no shortcut–it is a journey of a lifetime, and we are every bit deserving of this incredible gift.

I’ve found that the most successful people in my life had something in common, and that was they didn’t let success define them. It was so hard for me to let go of things because I was always judging my performance, and that’s because I never lived with more than one true partner. I didn’t understand that I wasn’t perfect, nor did I know that life is never perfect. Living an open and honest life has allowed me to learn from mistakes and to live life on the road, not in the box. The only thing you should have in life is yourself.

Life is about taking risks and making good choices, and the best thing you can do is to learn to trust yourself and the choices you make. It’s so hard to let go of bad habits and regrets, but it’s necessary if we are going to be able to accomplish anything of worth. I never thought I would say it, but the greatest gift to life is trusting yourself and having faith that life can turn out well.

It’s hard to have integrity in situations where you don’t agree with somebody, or know what they actually felt. But that is what you can learn by having a life without judgement and self-hate. If you can’t give yourself to other people because you are afraid of making mistakes, then who wants to be in touch with you when the time comes? You just don’t fit in to the world of social climbing; you are not very attractive, and nobody wants to hang out with you.

I was in a state of panic when we moved to Colorado Springs. I didn’t know where I would be living, I didn’t know whether I would be able to keep my apartment, or just live in my car. I had a lot of doubts about my ability to work, and I didn’t know if I could find a job in the industry I was in, let alone one where I would fit. So when all the doors were closed that meant a lot of people who are important to me were leaving my life, and I wasn’t able to find a way to say goodbye.

This was very scary for me, and I wanted to leave. But I had never been as lost as I was at that time in my life. I didn’t fit in anywhere or do anything I was good at because I was scared of looking stupid. I was always trying to look better than the person I was to my friends, and I was trying to take on every role–which makes the person in that role pretty uncomfortable to be around. I thought that by trying to be so much different, other people wouldn’t want to be my friend because I was always being so different. I didn’t want to give them my time because I had a fear of letting them down. I was living a self-preservation system, and it was really unhealthy.

All my friends were leaving me on the same day we moved, and I remember crying in a friend’s car when we got home and said my goodbyes. But I felt I could still make up for the loss of some of my friends just by making more friends of my own. I started a new job, but I couldn’t get used to it. As time went on, I realized that I was still missing out on some other people’s lives.

It was so hard to just go through your typical day, and not feel any sense of purpose and direction, or like you had any control over your life, for that matter. I didn’t even have a normal relationship with my mother or father, who are such big parts of my life. It was so hard not even to be around. I kept myself busy, doing anything that I thought I had to to get a job and get a life back on track.