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Wellness

What It Takes To Love Your Own Body

We all have an innate, almost instinctive sense of what kind of body we are attracted to and what kind of person we believe we are. This attraction and the belief that we are the way we are because we are attracted to “the way we are” is an innate part of our biology. Our bodies are not external–they are built in our mind and our minds are in our body. Understanding and accepting the intrinsic nature of your own body is an important step toward understanding who you are and what you are attracted to.

I didn’t have to lose any weight to figure out the way I am attracted to my body and the way I want to express myself and my sexuality. Before I knew it, I was able to feel and express my desire for self love and self-acceptance and a healthy body and not being overweight, and also learning a lot about myself. I was very fortunate in finding women that understood what I was going through more so than males did, and they were not afraid of being honest with me. The more I learned, the more successful I was and the better I began to have in my relationships. Now, being honest with myself is the first step toward healing my own body and feeling better for myself.

I wish I had known years ago that my body would take such a toll on my emotions. It wasn’t until years later that I learned there are very important emotions that can be triggered by unhealthy body image, including anger, despair, and hopelessness.

For the record my ex and I have remained friends but our connection did not last, he still thinks of me as fat, and I do not look back at the pictures of him with me when I am feeling angry because I did not make myself the woman that I wanted to be. If I could change one thing about myself (which is never really a possibility), I would take what he did to me and do it to myself. Not only is it not good for me, it also makes people uncomfortable and they may choose to stop talking with me all together.

My goal is to live my life the way I choose, my body is beautiful and it is not my fault that I can’t feel good for who I am so I decided to get help so I could take care of the things I can never give and finally be happy again.

I hope to one day have a family of my own, and I will never let other people’s bodies define them, if that makes sense…if not, then please give me the chance to learn from my own mistakes for the good of all humans.

I’m not going to lie; when I saw that photo of you, you looked like you had just walked off a cliff–it was that bad. But that is part of being a woman–some days you seem to be out of this world, but other days, it takes a toll on you.

I have had to relearn all that I have learned over the years and it’s been rough.  I used to be a very good dancer, but now, my body doesn’t work as well and I sometimes don’t have a clue what I am doing.  I am lucky enough to have a wonderful family, and I hope to one day have a family of my own.

I don’t think that everyone is “that” much different than you…some people are just naturally more attractive.  So it’s okay to feel like you don’t resemble many people.  That’s healthy, it means you’re trying to find yourself.  Also, some people would call me a freak or crazy.  But, you’re not alone.  That’s what we are here for.

When I was a young kid I had a very difficult time getting through the year and a half I spent in school doing the wrong thing in classes.  All the other kids just seemed so happy.  I would watch them, and then find myself alone and unhappy doing the same thing.  So I learned to love the wrong things.  I also learned about the right things that were difficult to learn at the time, so that it became my daily routine.  It doesn’t always work, and it is a lot of work, but I am so very fortunate that I’ve found it.