Sometimes I am reminded of two things:
1. The only thing you learn as a grown adult is how to let go of the past.
2. There will always be bad moments.
I’m going to tell you a life lesson that the whole world has overlooked. It’s one that seems simple in theory, but the power of that simple lesson is that it’s still the same today: Let go.
1. It really doesn’t take much to let go. I will explain what you already know: you can learn more from living inside someone else’s life. You learn what they have to say. When she died, the world was in turmoil, but she was living a life she loved with someone else. When she died they were in turmoil, but her life was already over. I’m sure you already believe it’s possible to let go.
2. People often learn more about themselves by sharing their lives with someone other than their parents, and that includes their friends. It’s possible to meet new people who will inspire you, and that’s always going to be a good thing.
3. I would advise you to give away the things you don’t need so that you can become a person with more time to spend with the things that matter to you. To share your life is a good starting point, but I would also tell you that you can do it without letting go. You don’t need to do it right now or right next year. (That doesn’t mean you don’t want to go to that family celebration or that you won’t be tempted before it’s over.
But please don’t do the things that mean more to you now over anything else.)
4. Letting go can be hard, because it involves letting go of what you need and giving up your attachment to things that you don’t really need. I’m sure you were all in college when that happened. The pressure to be successful and successful alone was intense; you could have done anything and been successful. But you also started to notice that the things you really loved could only really be lived in community.
Now that you’re older, you should have some perspective on how important family is. I believe everyone has been there. When you were younger, your family could be that other person you need: that person who helped you get through those rough years.
But now that there’s the distance between you, your family is no longer that person. They aren’t even a person anymore. They’re a burden. If you want to keep them close, they should either be part of you or be a part of what you do.
5. It’s okay to let go of something that no longer matters. It would be easy to become attached to things you do now that matter and it wouldn’t have any lasting impact in your life. In fact, it might have a lasting impact in the opposite direction. The thing that most changes from one generation to another? Their views on life. So let go of how something you have now now will affect the happiness and meaning of your future lives and just enjoy the fact that you’re still alive.
(This isn’t to say that you can’t still care about things you’re attached to because then you’d really be wasting your time. But the fact that you have to do that makes you a lost soul.)
It’s okay to keep something now that truly means something to you even if you don’t know when it will matter. Just be aware that it might be long after you think.
Sometimes I think of the life lesson that has kept me going: Sometimes you’ll go through life and be happy because you’re with someone for whom you’re important. But that doesn’t mean that you’ll always be so happy.
It’s okay to be sad or let it creep up and make you lonely. You are loved, but you’re also a person on your own life journey, and the whole world is one big puzzle. That is just as true in the afterlife as it is here, and no amount of work on your own life will make it any better. You will see more of it, and more of it will be just as sad as the stuff you loved so much.
Letting go of life and focusing on the present, even if it sucks, is an important thing, especially when we become adults. Letting go of the past and focusing on the present is essential to making the future better too.
I know that you’re going to need some time to figure this out. You may be tempted to get caught up in the right now or to care about what you can do with your life.
But if you’re lucky or smart or honest you know that you don’t have to let the future pass you by.
Sometimes I am reminded of two things: