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Wellness

What Makes Us Tick, And Why Did I Begrudge Finding Out?

It was the kind of shock I’d grown used to over the last 30 long years. It wasn’t the first time it had happened, but it was definitely a milestone. It was a realization I’d been hoping my own brain would have figured out before now.

What makes the human experience worth living? One person’s answer to life’s most important questions is to write an essay, and that piece of writing is our “book,” or “meditational experience.”

This has a funny habit of making my day, and my life has its own odd and sometimes disturbing ways of serving me, or that which isn’t quite “my” anymore.”

You can think of “meditation” like meditation of the mind, or a kind of meditation on the body. As such, my personal experience is one that I would consider to be meditation that is personal to me. It is an approach to meditation with no fixed rules, but one that feels as if it works without exception for me.  I’ve had a special love for this kind of meditation since I was a child, and it was the last thing I would have expected to discover in my early 20’s. But my brain has been giving me a lot of trouble lately, and I’ve been trying to figure out why. I’ve thought about many different ideas, and I’m sure I could write about most of them here, but I’d rather give some other people a chance of knowing the truth through my own experience rather than mine.

My experience is a kind of meditation on being human. I’m an introvert, and for much of my life I’ve struggled with being alone. This is a real challenge in my life at this moment, and also one that has been a constant, though a long time ongoing, problem. For this reason, the very idea of writing about my own experience, even to the point where I have a blog about it, has been very difficult for me, and I’ve been afraid of bringing it up until now.

I’m not sure exactly all the things that go into my own mind and spirit, but I know now that they are much greater than what my brain has become today. I know now that the things I write about in this blog post are the true essence of who I am. I can’t claim that they are the essence of every human beings I’ve ever met or met anyone in my life who has influenced me, but this is my “inner” self. This is what I try to keep going in the world, even in spite of how my mind seems to be failing me regularly.

This article is a long way from being a complete and comprehensive explanation of the experience of meditating on my own. I will only touch upon a few of the questions I’m asked with the aim of drawing out the essence. But there is still a lot of interesting facts to be found in this blog.

What is a “meditation”?

What is being a “luminous” meditation ? If you want to do so, then it is the method of focusing on a single point of the body at a time. If you want to meditate for the most part, or perhaps only for a small period of time, then it could just as easily be any other kind of breathing practice. 

Why do I meditate? This is another question I ask myself a lot, and what led me to this blog in the first place. Why do I spend my own days trying to do the things I am not able to do in life, even when I knew my best options wouldn’t be successful?

What is a “meditating” experience like? Is it a good kind of experience for me? Is it something I have to take time out of my day to do?

Meditating on my own?

I love and am thankful for a lot of the things that have defined me as a person in the 10 years or so I’ve been an adult. Those things that most define me in a positive way are my family, my friends, my work, my community, my career, my friends, my health, my education, my relationships, my spirituality and my creative pursuits.

This blog post is about the most negative thing in my life. It’s the reason I try and go to bed every night terrified of failure, and I’d rather sleep than go back to the world in pain, as I have done for much of my life.

This blog post is about the one reason I feel good about my experience with meditation. It is the reason I’m finally giving up on trying to make myself happy, as I have done for many decades.