Categories
Wellness

What To Read: Books About Your Health

It seems like the biggest trend these days in book publishing is health and wellness books, because no trend is more popular than self-improvement (and who can blame them?), or at least that’s what I’ve seen.

Here’s why you should definitely read a book like this: It helps you make the decision whether or not to buy a new health product, but also helps you learn what to look for in a product. You might not think you should pay for a product that says it has “all the nutrients you need”, but then realize you have a food intolerance or allergy, or you are suffering from the symptoms of a specific illness. You really do have to be careful when you make purchases, and if you buy something that can’t actually help you or you have doubts/questions about it, you have no recourse. While this title might seem a bit off-color, learning to play the blues has little to do with sex. It might just have everything to do with helping you deal more skillfully with fear, anger, anxiety, and other negative thoughts and emotions. You might think you need to fix what’s broken about you, and hence focus your mind on something you’re doing wrong, something you want but don’t have, or something you fear will happen if you don’t change. These are all states of mind that hold you back, not move you forward. You may start with enthusiastic commitment, but that “can do” attitude is quickly followed by waning interest. Eventually you give up your goal and end up on a big fat guilt trip.

This book will definitely help you overcome the fear of having sex, both physical and emotional. It will teach you about how to identify physical and mental signs of a nervous or anxious response to sex, as well as how to use “soft” or “soft-based” approaches to having sex (even when you think you don’t like them). You will learn how to use self-talk with your partner to change your attitude and to increase the odds of making it more enjoyable. When you feel anxious about sex, the book will teach you how to reduce your emotional response to the sexual experience as much as possible. This means that if you are having sexual anxiety, you will also get some tools to decrease your level of guilt, anxiety, and frustration and increase your enjoyment at the sex time. If you ever decide you can’t actually sleep with your partner, you’ll be learning about how to get through those dark, lonely nights when you feel you’re not being enough (or at least aren’t enough like you were before).

When I’m scared or feel lost in my sexual life, I usually try to focus my energy on self-improvement through art , exercise, or anything else that helps me become more flexible in my mind and body. I’m pretty open about having an eating disorder, and that my main problem is that, for me (and I am not unique), food is a way for me to escape from the negative emotions I feel about myself and my life. And I don’t just mean that I crave and love food, but rather that there’s an intense “comfort” I can feel from physical pleasure (or, in other words, how I interpret what’s in the body) that is very distracting from my thoughts. I need to feel good in the body—in other words, it needs to be like something I want to have. When I’m a “food addict,” I also have a great deal of difficulty separating the food and me. I have a high “craving” for food and tend to eat it a lot (at least 3 of the days per month). However, I also believe I need to eat to live . There are times where in our busy, busy world, we lose track of when we need food. So the constant feeling of craving food makes me feel like I can never have enough (and it also makes me feel guilty for not being more “fulfilled” in my life). When you have a serious eating disorder and are struggling with sex, you may feel that your partner can’t be sexual with you because you can’t be sexually intimate with yourself for long periods of time. One way around this is to practice mindfulness, which can help you see the bigger picture when you are having sex. You can be more aware of the body as it moves and the emotions this generates. For example, when you are having sex, you can take a long look at your body (and that of your partner) and see how you react to it. If your body feels tense, you can try focusing on your breathing; if it feels soft, you can try focusing on what you are feeling and what you are feeling in the mood that you are having.