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Wellness

When Happiness Becomes A Choice, Which Choice Is Good For You?

Let’s be clear: Choosing not to be happy isn’t bad. It’s life. We all choose to be different. Everyone has choices, in fact, there is something really wonderful about this world. There are people like this: They know themselves, they know who they are, and they choose the life they’ve chosen.

This piece is written from the perspective of somebody who doesn’t choose to be happy. (But hey, this is a personal blog. No need to write about why you’re not happy.) So the first thought I had to have was: What is happiness? It isn’t a feeling. It’s something to think about because it makes us feel alive. And yet in the world we live in today happiness seems a hard thing to achieve.

We often look at happiness in a way that says it should be an objective. It should be something we work towards. It should be something we strive for and strive for until, if it is even attainable, we will have it. Or at least until it seems possible. The problem with that is it ignores how we got to this point. When I’m miserable, or feel like I’m struggling with something, I think about how I got to where I’m at and what I could do differently. And this process reminds me that I get to choose. And I choose to find out who you are and where you are going.

I have chosen happiness, but I don’t believe I have chosen happiness. I don’t know where my happiness comes from. But my decision to try was not my doing. It was somebody’s. (Which makes them the best people in the whole world.) This choice isn’t made by an abstract thing in my head. It’s made by me. I did and I choose for them.

So, how can you feel happy? 

When I think about happiness I always think of the same two things.

We love something. We feel something that is loving. To feel loving does not mean you have to like what you’re loving. You can just feel something and feel love. I’ve felt love like this for so long it becomes hard to remember a time when I couldn’t. Like when I really liked what I was learning in school. Or when I liked the color green (when the other kids were making fun of me for it. I was so glad I’d made that choice.) Or when my best friend and I learned it together. We had the time and the ability to just love and know and understand each other and that’s all a relationship requires.

I love you.

That’s a feeling that doesn’t have to be true. But what if it is? Why is it true? Why is this what is true for me? Because you and I love each other. We’re in a relationship now. And no, I don’t love you every minute of every day because I feel like I’m dying. I love you because you are the greatest person I have ever known. And no matter how you love me, I accept it because I know it’s the kind of love that will make us both happy forever. Because love is worth everything. (And if you can’t stand the word love then just stop reading right now. Maybe later. But right now, I need to focus on loving you.)

I can’t explain why I love you so much. But I think if I could, I’d tell you that it comes from somewhere deep inside of me. I think if you can find this somewhere deep inside of you, then love is the answer. That it takes nothing from me, and makes me the person I want to be every minute of every day. And when you love yourself, you love everybody else better, because you love them too.

I love you.

And I wish you the most happiness you can find.

I love you so.

Love you.

You.