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Wellness

When Is A Long-distance Relationship A Good Idea?

The answer is: it depends. I think about this question a lot, but what I find interesting about it is not the answer itself, but the fact that I find a hard time answering it.

I’m not sure what I’m supposed to be looking for when I ask this question, because long-distance relationships– for example– can be very healthy. This doesn’t mean that they will necessarily get you exactly your life, or that a serious, committed relationship with someone you’ve only known online is a bad idea, but I think that if you get that chance, you should take it.

For example:

1, In the future you will enjoy some type of emotional relationship with someone you’ve only spoken online

2, You will like the person you’ve only ever met on the internet

3, This person will respect your feelings.

4, This person (or people) has a plan for your future

Obviously, you will have to be careful with any online relationships– the internet is a lonely place (no one is always online), but a serious online relationship doesn’t have to mean a loss in your personal life (though it might).

I think that the main reasons people have a hard time admitting to this option is because of the relationship itself. It’s hard to admit that one of your best people is only online, because then you feel like they are lying behind their walls, or that it’s because you’re not good enough, or that you are too busy. The truth of it all is that they really are all those things, but there are a number of factors that make the time difference and the fact that they only get off to sleep on their computer more enticing .

One reason people don’t seem to admit this to themselves is the fear that other people will hate the fact that they’re online, but that doesn’t seem to happen often. If anything, you’ll probably become friends with them online.

Another reason is that people tend to want to do something with someone, even if it’s just talking on the phone. On some level, people often want to have an active social life– this isn’t always the case, but it’s a natural way to try to keep yourself busy (and if they have friends, they are more likely to socialize than someone who never had that opportunity):

1, I get to chat and laugh with someone online.

2, We’re more likely to get to have interesting and positive and/or meaningful conversations with each other online (this is also why you probably get so much out of your computer every single day).

You might have seen people saying things like “It’s better to be alone than online,” which means the reasons for this are pretty clear: we want to have an “interesting” life, and this “interactive” aspect is something we enjoy and want in our life.

This also means that if you’re having problems (like an unsatisfactory relationship), this is usually not where the solution will lie. If you’re having problems, it’s because you’re unhappy with yourself. If you’re unhappy with yourself, it’s because you want to be unhappy.

I see it as being more about how you look at life. I look at life differently now, so if I’m going to be unhappy, it’s probably going to be with a person who doesn’t feel the same way as me. 

That being said, there are some people who will try to get online relationships, because they know that they will be happy with them. It’s not always the same– one person I know had a “relationship” online with someone for around a year, and that relationship was actually fairly good.