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Wellness

When We Forget To Stop Thinking

My therapist, a very old, very wise, very caring man who is almost always right, has been trying to help me figure out what he’s been saying in our session is what I’m missing that is important to understand. He feels that he’s been overthinking things and that I need to stop to think less about my problems and more about myself. What he’s saying makes sense to him, but is it correct? It’s become our new mantra these days. He seems to be more and more frustrated.

We know these things. We know the things that have made our lives a mess and the things that would make it a more wonderful and fun place. What is the truth? We can see every time someone says, “Don’t think,” our own brain says, “Don’t think, don’t. Think.” But is that the way your brain works? Our brain thinks only about thinking. The reason it does is that it is the organ that does most of the thinking. So there’s a lot of “wishing” and then it tries to think about the “wishing.” When most people stop to do this it makes more sense and makes life more beautiful and more fulfilling. Sometimes I think the thing we should do all the time is try a bunch of different things. The more we try things, the more we come up with and the better we understand our own minds. It’s like trying everything at once. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. And sometimes it’s just not worth the time.

I always knew that my biggest problem was that I didn’t have people in my life who could see me and my flaws and make my life better. I always wondered “Does that make me bad?”, “Does that make me unworthy?”, “Does that make me stupid? I am not stupid, stupid people cannot do amazing things because they are stupid, they don’t understand that.” That’s a problem that I have to do more to resolve. If I see a good book out there that is a reflection of my own personality and if I see how the character is flawed I can pick up a book and have something in my life that has not been there before, not been made for me, for me.

The book That’s Me by John Green came out in 2006. It is an incredible book and so true to your personality the first time you read it you know something. It gives me hope and happiness. It’s hard to get my mind around when I read books, but I’m getting better and better with it and I’m starting to recognize some of the things that I can use in my life. If you start reading books like John Green’s he has a way of taking you back out from behind your current, and then you realize that you were right to be angry or to be depressed. I read it in a day and it helped me a ton. John Green is a smart guy and as I’ve gotten older I realize all of those things that weren’t easy to deal with but if you try to listen to him you realize the things that work. I also realized it’s also hard to listen to an explanation of how the brain works and not see the connection. I used to think I was a bad person because of this and I was like, oh well so are they, how could they be so crazy? How do they think this way!? But then you realize things are different for just about everyone, especially if you are a woman. It’s a very different experience when you’re a woman and your husband just is not that way about you and how you do things. The things that the brain is programmed to do and see are different. The way for a man to relate to a woman, just for starters, is very different. I learned all these things in a very short amount of time and it was like I just realized that if I try to apply to someone else how I feel, if I try to write to someone how I feel I will make them like me and want to hang out with me and they will want to hang out with me again. There’s no way I can say that I have it figured out and you should do the same thing and everyone is going to try different things.

This is probably something you want to come back to later. I have to say thank you for asking this question. I wish it was the other way around. I wish my boyfriend knew that I was so close to him.