Why Do We Feel Frustrated, Bored, Angry, And Sad?

Our perception of time is shaped by our experiences. It starts off slow but then gets faster as we learn. But then, things get really tough for us when experience, the real one, is altered by stress or fear, causing us to become restless, frustrated, and depressed.

For several days This is Going Out is a regular column that explores the psychological and emotional reasons behind our day-to-day behavior and interactions with ourselves, a new version of the essay each day in the New York Times. For years it was a “wet dream” for my colleagues and me at Work, but we were told it is not allowed to write about our daily “day.” But now I can! Why? Because it feels too weird.

But in truth, I think we feel too weird about everything. My wife and I talk about what we do every day, from how to do work to the feeling of being exhausted, and there is a lot of disagreement, especially with my coworkers.

Most of the time I try not to give too much thought to why I feel a certain way. But I also feel like I must talk about how often I feel stressed. I can just feel, because that is my real body. Sometimes we go through life without ever noticing how often we feel overwhelmed, stressed, or annoyed. Or how often we feel anxious, frustrated, angry, sad…and our life is basically “working” like normal because we do that so effortlessly. But then it starts to get so bad that we feel as if we are unable to handle our life because it just feels too much.

So, this is going to be my first “real” post. I want to talk about why we do this to ourselves. I want to ask what the reasons are and what you’ve discovered about yourself and your life. In short this is going to be a “day-to-day” post about our stress and frustration. So if you are frustrated or angry or scared, this is an ideal time to share it with someone you trust. Here’s the story.

I have been working for my company, a small firm in the suburbs, since March of 2005 when I got a job at 20-24. Over the past 17 years, I’ve been asked, as a human resources Director, why I’m so upset and have to take a vacation, so I can give the “honest” answer. I thought maybe I was depressed or “down,” but nothing could confirm this. But then, all of a sudden, the stress came to a head. I was called into work, put on my “bad end” and made to feel a lot worse than I already was.

As a young Manager, I had gotten lots of responsibilities. But they were a lot of responsibilities that got the blame for what caused me to leave. The things that went wrong were the same things that were going right when I came, and that is a little difficult to explain. But at times it felt like nothing was going my way.

My first week at 20-24, my boss left his desk for over an hour. I had to do the same thing; I could not get the office open. It got progressively worse as the week progressed; a new partner arrived to take over a project. We made a lot of mistakes because we did not have enough leadership, we couldn’t meet deadlines. We were always behind on work. And finally, our boss, an experienced Managing Director, got sick right before the end of the quarter and had to leave early. The final piece of pressure came when he had to leave early in lieu of his other responsibilities for a short time so his new team could do their work. That was my first week where I felt a whole lot of pressure to do things my way. And the last 3 months of that year and the first half of this year were a train wreck.