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Wellness

Why Do Women Have So Much Work To Do?

This is really a question for society itself, as well as for a lot of women in their 20s and 30s. I think the truth is that we have become so emotionally overworked and emotionally overstimulated that our brains simply can not tolerate much longer an un-empathized world. We need a break from that world now. This is a reality no one can avoid.

The biggest problem that needs to be addressed in both men and women is the same problem that was at the root of this blog.

This is what I call the “overwork” problem: We’ve been programmed to expect to be doing a lot of work at a young age , to be the heads of our households, to hold a variety of important positions and, as a result, we now feel like our “entitlement” is being threatened . This is a big problem because it’s destroying our capacity for happiness.

The solution, as it applies to me, is not to take on more than’s humanly possible and it has never been in my nature to feel threatened by anyone or anything but, if your children show the symptoms of this “overwork” syndrome, the solution is not to force them into more work. Instead, it’s to change. Change their environment to one that allows them to do less work, which I think is easier than it sounds. We can do this! We must do this, because the work done by adults is only half the total work that is needed!

I’m not sure how women are really supposed to do this kind of work without falling into a state of constant procrastination, but that’s what happens when you’re so busy that you can’t get away from any particular subject for more than a couple minutes.

What’s the point of having a family when you can hardly take care of yourself? What’s the point of being married if you need a lot of time for yourself? What does it ever matter, if it never seems as if you’re being taken care of.    “I’m tired!” “Why, it’s only because I’m tired!”, as if some kind of moral or physical fatigue has no place in a healthy body, and as if our bodies are somehow broken, without the capacity for happiness.

And what of the work I do? Is this work really the job that my mother wanted me to have? I think my mother was wrong in her prediction!

When people tell me I must be exhausted or that I don’t have time to read and write, they are basically saying, “Do this, or you’ll be left to live your life without fulfillment”. I don’t think they realize the irony in that statement.

There’s another side to this that doesn’t get as much attention: Our ability and desire to do the work we need to do may be our own choice, but our capacity to do it well is not. We have to be able to do it. It’s not innate. We have to make it a habit. And we have to be able to tolerate a job without being unable to get over it.

So it’s not really a bad thing that there is so much work for women. It’s a good thing. And it’s more than a coincidence that, during the late 20th century, when the great majority of women took on these jobs, the divorce rate soared.

The more work we have, and the more the work we do, the less we tend to find ourselves as dependent as a man on someone else. The more work we have, and the less we do, the better we may be able to stand life in its entirety and not have to worry as much. I believe that’s why, as this blogger noted, the marriage rate has been falling in this country.

The point is that the problem is not working too much–it is working too little. We may feel that we have too much, but that doesn’t mean we have too little. We don’t have enough of it. We can’t go on working more than 40 hours a week because that will only cause more exhaustion, more anxiety, more guilt, and more depression.

So what’s the solution? What’s my advice to all women?

Get a job that you are happy with! Don’t think that going to university is the solution. Don’t think that having a career is the solution. Don’t think it will make you more fulfilled as a woman.