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Wellness

Why I Don’t Ignore Your Text Messages

I can’t ignore messages, people. If you’re sending me a text, I have to respond on my own terms. When I do respond, the most important thing is to keep my emotions clear. It is easier to feel things than to think things. If I reply, I don’t send the same message over and over. I don’t want to lose my own message, I’m going to keep it, so make sure the one that matters is delivered. We’re all human. Feelings are feelings. Don’t forget there’s an internet and a phone. You can have a conversation with me. You know what I mean.

There is nothing quite like receiving a text message that starts “You’re so awesome.” It’s not meant as praise. It’s meant to convey, “Don’t leave me hanging. I’m here,” meaning, “It’s important that you know that I’m there, I’m really thinking about you, and I love you dearly.” So before text messages go in the inbox, make sure it’s important.

The more specific, the better. You want your messages to give the receiver a reason to respond, instead of leaving her wondering if you sent her a message because you have something on your brain…

Or you’d rather she had a reason to respond than be unsure, and you send the message to know exactly what she meant? I think this is the first sign that you’re not thinking clearly. You need to be thinking how you’re supposed to be responding, and not to respond out of habit, and not to be worried about someone getting the wrong idea. In order to say what you mean, you’ve got to be ready to articulate why your intent is important, and exactly what your message is saying. It’s easy to respond just to reply, but not so easy.

How To Respond When Someone Sent Me A Text Message

I want to know how you respond to texts. Here are some things I look for in messages that I send:

What’s the first word in the message? “Why?” if it’s a question. “You’re so awesome,” if it’s a statement. “I love you,” if you’re saying you love her in a loving way. “So much love,” if it’s to say you’re feeling love and care about her. I like to be clear about what I mean before I respond. (Note: sometimes you’re not sure about what someone said? It’s okay.) Don’t make me think about you. Don’t make me send other messages to you. Don’t make me wait until the next day, next week to respond. I want to know how I’m supposed to be responding before I do. Be clear. Let me get there myself. Have I responded for a reason in the past? When? What does it mean? Is anyone else feeling this love? Are you feeling the same? If you sent somebody a message, you shouldn’t have to tell me what they thought! You should know for yourself.  I need to hear why you said what you said. You don’t have to say why you feel love if it’s obvious, that they love you unconditionally, but I don’t want to hear reasons to be in love, either. What were they saying? Was there a reason they felt this way? Where were they from? Why did they feel this way? Did they send you a love song? A love poem? Is there a sign that says they’re into you? A tattoo? Anything? Don’t be afraid to tell me, and don’t let me hear you as a person. Don’t get defensive. Don’t get pissed off if you do have to apologize. Don’t be a pushy weirdo. Don’t be afraid to tell me what you sent, but don’t let me hear something I’ve asked you not to share. If you have to, don’t tell me about it. Don’t make me feel like I have to answer the question, because you’re not going to, trust me. I’ll know that you told me because I’ll know what your text said.

When I text you back, I feel like a million bucks. Why? My emotions are clear. The more emotional I am, the less I remember about how you’re supposed to be telling me, what you’re about to share.