Categories
Wellness

Why We Can’t Help Thinking Of Them As Friends That We Don’t Want To Lose

We all have thoughts to distract us from our core purpose. What you think when you’re trying to lose weight for instance. How we respond to others can be an example of what we think. Sometimes these are negative thoughts, sometimes they’re just thoughts.

Why can’t we help thinking of what might happen to those close to us as “my family” the way we can do with our children? If your family is gone or there is no family, how likely is it that that thoughts might get to you in other ways? What does that say about your self image, your relationships, your identity, your sense of worth, your perception of time, etc.

There are many things we can and do to change our thoughts. Some of things you’ll want to do while others you’d be better off leaving alone. Some people will be more comfortable seeing themselves that way, some won’t.

The goal isn’t to see other people as “family” we don’t understand them (however much we do) or what will happen to our relationships, but to see our self image and we need to do that in a way that is consistent and that makes sense.

The main point of this is about how we can start to view our family the way we might view other things in our lives that matter. And how we can start seeing things as having value in those lives.

A few other things to consider:

What about when people are there, and we need these people? What are the main things to be most grateful for? Does that mean the way we see the people around our family, friends, or whatever has to change in some way?

What about when my thoughts of losing weight, my relationships, my sense of worth are going to be impacted? What is the biggest change you could make? If possible it helps to look at the thought process with someone you trust who can provide perspective as well. If it is too hard to think of someone else, consider how you might think of them as more like your family, more important, more a part of you. Try to see them that way. Make a commitment at the start of the new year not to think of them as a family. Do this for the next few months and let’s see how it feels in person. Then evaluate how our approach feels. Is it going to be a way that makes sense to us or not?

How do I practice what I’ve learned in my thinking as it changes? What do I need to do to change my thinking in new ways? What advice do I need to hear about this as a friend?

You might want to take a look at some of the resources I mentioned in the introduction to help you take these ideas and do more to help you be your best life, your best self. These are by no means exhaustive and have to be adapted to your situation, but at least some of the resources we’ve mentioned are resources that I’ve seen help people change their thoughts. If you don’t feel comfortable changing your thinking, you might want to try them. If you don’t feel confident enough, consider talking to people who know more about how to help you.

If you are a professional or professional with training in your area, the following are resources and courses offered that may be beneficial to you:

1) Emotional Intelligence (EQ) – Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) to understand what other people are thinking and how to change them in a manner consistent with your self Image and that makes sense. (See the link above for information on how to use Emotional intelligence in your work and also available as a video download.)

2) Thought Reform in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy to help you to change how you think about certain situations.