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Wellness

Why We Have A Hard Time Seeing The Big Picture

As humans, we are often very good at seeing things from only one point of view. Most of us see the world in black and white: good things are bad, bad things are good, white is black, straight = good, not straight = bad. These are the two extreme perspectives that we tend to assume at the forefront of our minds.

Being in a world that is not like this is difficult. We have to be careful to keep ourselves clear of all the things that might get in the way of being able to look at things objectively. We don’t see things the same way as the experts, so there are a lot of things we tend to gloss over and ignore. We tend to assume that because they were taught to us by the experts, they must all be true, so we take no time to check out alternative perspectives. However, it’s possible to see multiple perspectives and come up with some new information that leads us to a fresh set of insights about a situation. When we do this, it can lead to a radical break from our assumptions and help us move to a new set of beliefs and a new way of looking at things.

My Experience With a Negative Shift This is a common experience when attempting to see things from outside perspectives. It’s the same with people who have never lost a loved one. When a loved one dies suddenly or unexpectedly, it’s emotionally hard. The loss of a loved one is hard enough without getting more facts and information about the situation (the “trueling”); then getting some perspective on the situation by seeing different angles to it.

A Negative Shift Can Change the World

When my friend, my old pastor in Texas, died of cancer in 2008 in March, he was my friend and a great man with a good heart. I knew as soon as I felt his pain that he was not really gone. He came back to life more than once, and one of his daughters is still with us today. I know that his wife would have wanted the best for him, so my sadness, grief, and loss of friend and pastor was shared with her as well. We talked about it often, he even told her the good news for at least a week. They are still close today because of my friend, and he was my friend too, and I know that he meant a lot to me and that he gave me his last few moments to say goodbye. I lost some of my dear friends through sickness and death and had to find some of them and share their stories with others, but I didn’t lose a friend. I lost a person who was no longer with us. The world is still full of people who need us in some form or another, and for some people it could be a family member they know by sight. When someone as dear to you as your pastor dies, it’s an experience that might stay with you for a long time. As your friends, pastors, and relatives are no longer living, you can’t forget their stories, nor can you lose your memories. Many people remember their pastors, their friends, or their family members with fond fondness for them, and so when they pass, it takes a few months for the experience of losing their memory to wear off. You might think, “what’s the difference between losing memories and losing a sense of self?” A lot, or at least it did to me. I was at a very tender age when my pastor died. I had to deal with the loss of a close friend, but also all the things that I had already learned from my pastor (such as to love my neighbor as myself).

As the years go by, we may have to deal with that loss again of lost memories or a loss of some way of seeing things to give us some perspective and understanding. When you lose a loved one suddenly, it can be a very traumatic event for you and your loved ones. It’s important to know that you do have something to look forward to in the future (a nice future, a better future, whatever you want that means!). It’s not just the loss of them, but also the loss of how your family or friends are going to look at you.