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Wellness

Why We Need To Give Up On Being Perfect

Because this is not the world we chose, and is not the world we’re meant to live in. You can’t simply change yourself and get on with things. You have to be realistic about this and accept the reality of the choices you’ve made. I’m telling you: do NOT change! This is the best you can hope to be.

Some people are looking for some real answers, some real change, to how they’re feeling, to the relationship they’re in, to their lives. They want this because they think it will make them happy. That’s it. They haven’t made ANY changes. They’re happy as they are, and they think it’s because they got that way through a series of choices made by other people, through their actions. These people are just looking for a convenient explanation for how they got where they are. They’re not looking for any more from life, but the need for a quick fix that makes them feel like they’re making some sort of progress and/or getting some measure of validation from their relationships.

This is not the world that we are meant to live in. So the only reason some people feel like it’s a great fix is because they think it’ll be the one life they choose, and they think they’re getting some sort of ‘fix’ for a problem that they don’t really have. If you’re asking WHY there’s no solution, I can give you a few reasons:

1. You have a different personality that’s just a matter of what you do, and how you act. You can see where this sounds, but:

When you change yourself, change your attitude, change your actions, you alter your personality. This was something that I did, and it changed me. I can’t look back at my actions from the past without realizing that it changed and affected me. You can’t change your personality. Change your attitude and actions and be a totally different person entirely! That’s what YOU are. You are YOU when you do that.

2. We’ve not seen the endgame. We can see all the possible endings, but it’s still a mystery. Some people think they’re getting some quick fix, that they’re going to be ok, that something that happened in life will just sort itself out. This makes them feel better than they should. People talk about having ‘lost themselves’ or a ‘new man’, or some such nonsense, but to me, it’s just an excuse to feel that they deserve to get a ‘quick fix’ from life. If you’re happy today, that means that something you’re doing is working, and not just because some people said in their heads it would be, and that it’ll continue to work. 

3. You might see the person who caused you the problem. I’m not saying you should try to stop them, but that you can see them. They might not be able to change themselves completely, but you can see that they’re different, and you can see why they reacted this way. Not that they’re necessarily wrong, but it might help you understand where they’re coming from.

4. It’s so easy to give up. You don’t have to try so hard. It’s a good thing that you’re happy. It’s hard to keep your head up when you’re happy. A better solution is to stop caring so much, and accept where things are and work from there instead.

5. You’re going through it because you feel like it. If you try to change yourself, it might feel like you’re pushing a balloon and you don’t understand the true situation. The whole point of change is that it can be uncomfortable, and you’ll feel like shit. You can choose to keep going while you’re there, but it’ll take a lot of effort, and it won’t get solved in a day.

6. You think of things and act out based on them. People do this all the time. When we have an idea of how we feel, we’ll act, not because the person will be ‘right’, not because we want to feel better, but because we want to feel better. You’ve got a problem because you’re acting on something.