Why Women Aren’t ‘real’ Women

Women’s bodies are beautiful, right? But what about the men? Who are the true ‘real’ women? For decades psychologists have been using a very narrow definition of womanhood as exclusively feminine.

This is a new post. This new post focuses on the issue of gender, and more specifically the question of why most of us don’t think of boys and girls as women. Some of this might be dated, but I would like to share this to inspire you to think differently. This topic is very important. For many years women have been told that they are ‘real’ women. The issue is most recently being brought up in the wake of the tragic shootings and killings of women in the media. What is so frustrating about this is that as people, we have been telling boys and girls they are ‘real’ women since we were young, and as a result, we perpetuate the ‘real’ woman stereotype. Most of us are not aware of the fact that ‘real’ women are perceived by society around them as having ‘female characteristics.’ I thought it might be beneficial to discuss the issue of gender. Many of you may be thinking this is a very old topic and should not even be discussing now. I know many of you have thought about it for years and it has been a major concern for you. It has always struck me, however, that it is time for our country to start thinking about gender differently. As you continue to think about this issue, please think back to a time in your life.

What might have been a time of great worry and worry for you was not a time of worries or worry for a boy or girl, but a time filled with a great deal of amusement. The world was a playful place, a place that made fun of you and made fun of other women. If you were a boy or a girl, you may have felt uncomfortable, angry, embarrassed, and maybe even a little jealous. There were things being said and done to women that made you feel as if you wanted to throw the world into turmoil. The world didn’t like women, there were men who wanted to throw all women out of their lives, and there were many men who simply wanted to be women. I can still picture that world, even if I do not know all the details.

The ‘Real’ Woman

So, what are we to make of society’s perception of women, and why did it not include you?

One of my friends, and I, were once at a restaurant in a small town. I had just finished school and was looking to live with her on her big farm where we planned to live happily ever after. We had been dating for months, and she suggested that I move in with her because she was so happy. That meant so much to me. I was happy. But this is how things went:

“Where are you going to live? I didn’t even get a job yet, my grandfather can’t work for another week.”

“It’s a small town,” I said.

“Ohhh, it’s so small,” she replied.

“So, what makes you so special?”

“I’ve already proved to them and myself that I am special,” she said.

The waiter brought her the check. I waited with the rest of the people waiting for the check. When she left the restaurant, I was sitting alone and thinking to myself, “What did she think about me leaving the restaurant?” What is her point anyway? She didn’t even say goodbye. I’m thinking to myself, this girl has a point. What’s next, her saying she didn’t like the food, didn’t like the service?

I thought of a time that I didn’t get dinner that night. I sat alone in the restaurant and I just sat staring at the wall. She may have had a point about me not getting dinner and that my grandfather couldn’t work for another week. Maybe she’s right. I sat alone thinking about how I have so many things to work on, and I’m so grateful that I can be with my granddaughter.

That was the day that I realized I couldn’t look a real woman in the eye and say I wanted to love and be loved all my life.

‘There is a thin line between a girl and a whore…’

This was in 1979, and this is probably the first time you thought of this. I will talk about the history of the issue, and how it was dealt with by the church and the media. I think the conversation has just begun. It seems as though things are changing for the better. Maybe that’s not true. If it is, good.