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Why You Should Stop Looking For Perfect Relationships

I used my parents for years as a reference point. I was pretty bad at relationships, though, and so I got sucked into thinking that I would need to look for the perfect person to take care of me and my family. I was a miserable failure while pursuing perfection. I’m not sure I ever got to the right place.

The idea of chasing perfection is so pervasive in our society that we overlook how much we all crave relationships, whether it’s a romantic one; friends or coworkers. When looking for a partner you find yourself longing for something more than what you have right now, which can lead to feelings of resentment, isolation and disappointment.

Perfectionism is the worst thing when it comes to relationships. If you’ve ever talked to someone or been rejected by someone you’re in a relationship with, you probably know that it can feel like they don’t want to be with you. You feel like an incomplete version of yourself, if you do actually have the qualities they’ve chosen, as opposed to the ones you wanted to possess at the time of rejection.

What does it take to find someone you actually want?

The answer is simple: you need to realize your own worth and the limitations of your own life. The biggest hurdle most people have to overcome is feeling inadequate and inadequate when looking for a partner.

It’s a hard thing to do. But with some hard work, you’ll start to realize that you don’t care. Sure, you’re not looking for a partner to fill the void that exists inside of you, but you’ll be happier when you do, and you’ll be more satisfied in your life and relationship when you finally settle down with someone to build a family with.

How to stop looking for the perfectionist ideal and to begin loving yourself, your time and your life instead

We all want what we think we want, but we need to realize that we’re not looking for someone who is perfect or has all the qualities or personality traits we’d love to have. That’s unrealistic (or more appropriately unrealistic) to expect.

I recently met this good woman, and while there were no obvious signs in our conversation, she was able to pick up on that I wanted to be content and happy. This woman and I had a great conversation, and her comments about feeling content made a huge impact on me. Here are some of my thoughts:

You are your strengths. The best people I meet are people who want to get out and live the life of their dreams and do their best work, regardless of whether the work is for their chosen career or work in their chosen field, or both. They give themselves time to be happy, as well as respect themselves, which is all the more important because the best people in the world love themselves, too.

We’re living longer. I’m not saying that you’re doomed to a horrible death due to your “age” (the world is filled with old people and it will look bad on a CV and on Facebook for being old), but we are living longer. With the exception of those born in the twentieth century, it has become quite common for people to live to our current age of eighty. I have a feeling that if you grew up as a child with your parents, and if you’ve had the fortune of having a healthy childhood, you can likely live much longer than this. You may even live to see your grandkids age and die before you. You have to look forward towards your next life and continue learning about it.

That’s not to say that you can’t have a long and thriving life. It’s perfectly reasonable to want that.