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Wellness

Why You’re Afraid Of Your Gut(s)? Why You Shouldn’t Be

If you can’t get on with your gut feelings, it means you’re not being realistic to yourself. That is, most of your stress and anxiety is caused not by a real enemy; but from your gut feelings and expectations of a future that isn’t working out. Try going back to being less negative about past and future failures, and less fearful of failure.

My husband wants one of those fancy-looking electric toothbrushes — with the motorized-friction thing on the brush head. He’d like it to stop and clean all our teeth whenever we take a mouthful of food. His father-in-law has one, too, but it has a motorized spindle and spins at a fixed speed. He likes having a cleaner mouth. He’ll admit that his dad-in-law is crazy and probably couldn’t do it, but, he says, “I’d like a cleaner mouth with my teeth like he’s got.

You get so much pleasure out of what you did. A little excitement for the thrill of it.” It wouldn’t hurt if he got one of those electric brushes, he says to his wife. He’ll have to admit that he’s crazy. He’s been in and out of psychiatrists, and doesn’t seem to feel much of anything at all.

If it’s true what he says, then you might ask yourself: Why do you feel as though you have to keep pushing against all your physical, emotional and mental resistance to having a brush that you can use in the same way as anyone else? It’s a feeling that he can use, he says. And you don’t?

Perhaps it’s because your gut feel about an idea or situation has become so fixed in your life that it never changes, at least not for you. You keep feeling certain thoughts about the situation — “I’m scared” — and it doesn’t change. And you keep not saying anything about it!

And then you wonder what it would be like to have real emotional openness about it.

Letting go, on the other hand, means taking the first step to understanding the feelings and thoughts that motivate the thing you’re resisting. Letting go is the process of taking the first step forward, in a direction that’s not the one you want. Sometimes you’ll notice these feelings and thoughts and feel them and think them are the thing, and sometimes you’ll realize it’s just your gut feeling and the “what ifs” in your head which keep you from thinking and acting as if a really better outcome is possible. Letting go often means going on the path that you want, and then having to walk it.

“I can’t do this,” I tell myself. “If I try, I’ll ruin it. Letting go would mean that I have to be in this position. That really doesn’t feel all that good.” But the way you feel is not entirely your feeling. Your mind is making us feel the way we feel. We’re all made of mind, after all. So isn’t it right we can’t control the things our mind does and that we can’t change, but we can control the things that we keep inside our minds and that we keep inside our hearts? Isn’t that the way you feel?

“No, I can’t do this.” That’s still a feeling that exists even though it’s not a feeling in my head. I can’t do this, as in I cannot be in it, yet I believe I can still do the rest of the steps of the process of letting go. You might have noticed that it takes a while to fully let go of the feeling that “I can’t do this.” But once you make the commitment to begin to allow something to go, you can continue to move forward without feeling a sense of loss or disappointment that the project will not work.

You might also find it helpful to start a journal with a few pages about the emotion that you’re resisting. You might find that as you write of something that you find hard to handle, it starts to feel better, and you begin to be able to look at it rationally.